Depression is an all too frequent problem for mothers of children with autism. These feelings are often brought on by a sense of responsibility for the cause or the outcome of their child’s condition. Coming to terms with raising a child that is different from what you expected and the uncertainties of that child’s long-term prognosis create a great deal of stress that can in turn, lead to depression.
A recent study of mothers with autistic children was conducted by Dr. Marion O’Brien, director of the Family Research Center at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Dr. O’Brien makes a point of stating that mothers are not to blame. While the cause of autism is not completely understood, genetics does appear to play a role, but parenting skills do not.
While mothers are urged to push for better services for their autistic children, O’Brien stresses that they must learn to accept the reality that they cannot determine the long-term outcome. Likewise, mothers who are feeling overwhelmed or depressed should consider therapy or seek out other parents of autistic children for support. Dr. O’Brian also urges mothers to not simply treat the symptoms of their depression.
On a positive note, O’Brian has found that most families with autistic children are resilient, and over time, learn to deal with their situation and its challenges.
SOURCE: Family Relations, April 2007.
Unfortunately, it is frequent and expected to see mothers take this situation so personally that it drives them into depression. The amount of effort and time required to care for an autistic child is inordinate. So the amount of time and energy left for a mother to take care of her own well-being all but disappears. I often encourage mothers to accept that this condition is for the rest of their lives and to learn early-on, that balance is necessary for them to continue to be the best mothers in the work for their wonderful children who are suffering from autism. One of our feature books at Benzinger On Health, Understanding Autism for Dummies, is written by an adult with autism and you’ll know when you read this book that he gets it and can save you hours if not years of effort in this area. Read it soon to help you and others in your family.
God Bless,
Dr. Benzinger
